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Monday, November 11th, 2002
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1:16 am
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GUESS WHAT.. krissy has a new journal.. because.. i do.
your added to it if i like you enough.
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| Saturday, November 9th, 2002
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11:54 am - if you walk outtt
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i wanna be busy today ;D so here is my list of things to doo
clean room [still haven't done it..]
clean desk [still haven't done it..]
finish essay
write tara a letter
write in my diary
read
clean out backpack [it gets messy really quick]
umm theres probably more stuff to do just i can't think.. it looks so pretty outside today the rain was going but now i think it stopped.. it's so foggy and dark ahhh prettyness, i wish it could last forever and ever.
eh i've been thinking about making a new journal, i don't know i just don't like this journal.. er it's dumb i know. just been thinking about it or thinking about making a journal that no one else knows about, sometimes i feel that i can't write what i'm really feeling and i just don't like putting it in this journal period. even if it is friends only or private.. just doesn't feel right i just want total strangers to sometimes see what i need to say.. not friends and stuff 'cause i'm afraid if i say what i really wanna say it'll make them mad at me for wanting that or thinking that .. eh i don't know. that's all.
xkrissy
current mood:  cheerful
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| Friday, November 8th, 2002
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1:48 pm - all the child go straight to hell
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yay californiaaa gots the rain in our way. three days of rain according to the news so far we've gotten two.. it's stopped right now for a bit but it looks like it'll start again soon. i got out early, cause of early dismissel [really?] yeah.. mom is being a extreme bitch this morning she screamed at me and hit me then today shes all whining i seriously just want to choke her with my sock i hate her to death 96% of the time. i spent most of the day in the corner of the room with josh[<3], tabby, jeremy, anthony and brandy. we had to finish our essays and yeah everyone finished it except me and tabby haha. .. i'm slow. darlene walked by once and josh said "what happenin' ugly darlene?" lmao =x she got pissed. and she said "fuck you" in a whisper and he said nah michael wants some [michael is this big kid that's so incredibly stupid and annoying that it's unbelievable] and darlene was like whatever and she stares at me and started nodding and i scrunched up my face in a huh way and she said "yeah we all know you like karissa, yep you wanna screw her probably." and i was like "uhhhhhhh you bitch" and josh was saying "shut the fuck up darlene your dumb go screw michael he wants your ass cause hes blind. you ugly whore" and darlene keeps on saying "yeah, yeah we know you like karissa" blah.. i wish he did lmao.
yesterday i went to the mall and got two pairs of flares and a pink shirt wee.. yeah today i dunno if we're going to the movies or not? i dunno it might be monday when we go.. er supposably we're gonna see 8mile yay. k thats all
xkrissy
ps. josh likes korn HAHAHAHhhhahahahhHAHA yeahbabypurr but he likes slipknot too ;[ i think im getting his picture in the class picture but no ones got it yet and i dunno if my mom ordered it.. er.
current mood: special ;D
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| Tuesday, November 5th, 2002
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6:31 pm - video killed the radio stars OH YES baby
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not online right now, mom's on the phone with cathy woopee. last night darlene called and asked if we can trade [borrow] shirts and they said yeah so i got her carebear shirt and she has my stripey shirt, the dumbass left it in her desk at school though.. so eh.. i'm scared she's gonna mess my shirt up i always say yes to do things with her [dont think nasty heh] then something in my mind comes up that shes gonna screw everything up but most of the time i'm wrong, hopefully that's one of those times.
seen josh, cute little thing he is. he likes to copy me during read aloud and it makes me laugh laugh so i get in trouble oh well, atleast that means he is actually watching what i'm doing and i exist somewhat to him. oh and yeah i felt his FINGERS for the very first time, ahh it was great. i know i sound pathetic. his nails are so short yet you know what something jabs into your skin but doesn't make a mark but you get the feeling of it for a little while that how it was when i felt his fingers cause his hand was on my desk and he was pushing my desk away from the other desk so i pushed his hand off my desk yay.
at lunch gaby brought lollipops to school and we didn't wanna finish them in the cafetiria so we went outside with them and your allowed to do that and rose-mary was all up and on the go and we got in trouble and my name is on the board now.. oh well i didn't care, mrs. salka already pissed me off enough for me to actually ignore any other bad actions of hers.
anddd well.. i don't know if i should talk about this.. cause i have some sxe [?] friends and i know how they get all jumpy about drugs and such.. but um on friday gaby, darlene, and me MIGHT smoke weed just for experimenting. i doubt it'll happen though i mean i can't even steal enough from my dad without him noticing, that can make a blunt for all three of us. and we don't even know how to make a fucking proper blunt. alicia doesn't wanna do it cause shes afraid shell get addicted the first time.. uhhuh you can't get addicted off of it just once and we're not even gonna do it again for a longlonglong time or never again cause we have no where to go to get it and i'm not risking getting caught stealing my dad's stuff.
we're not hanging out with alisha anymore cause shes being a bitch and getting all mad at alicia for hanging out with gaby and darlene, all because she doesn't like them for some reason. well actually she only doesn't like gaby i have no idea why though cause gaby is like the nicest person in the world and never is mean unless your mean back. darlene is the one she should be hating 'cause darlene is always, always making fun of alisha, she kinda got the two mixmatched.. er yep. but yeah alicia isn't gonna hang out with her cause alisha is just being a bitch like that.. AND she's going to miss lopez saying crap about alicia making herself [alisha] seem like the good guy in the story.. so miss lopez wants to talk to alicia tommarrow eh. we don't really care about alisha i mean she's nice and all but she's just... boring. all she ever does when we hangout is whine or go right over to miss lopez and miss lopez is boring as hell too.. i don't know.. i really don't care. either way i'm okay with everything.. i'm just glad they aren't doing this to me eh that'd be horrid to deal with.
alrighty.. um i think i'm done yay?
xkrissy
current mood: active
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| Monday, November 4th, 2002
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11:00 am
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blah i didn't feel like going to school so i just slept in and dad didn't goto work till late cause he got home a 4 am from the aerosmith concert.. so yeah erm just bored.
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| Sunday, November 3rd, 2002
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11:44 am - hello
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some people may think since i didn't post for two days straight that i now have a life not really, i just entertain myself with other things. the thing is.. my life is so pathetic and boring.. i read three books in 5 days 2 were 185 pages and one was 230 pages. that's sad. and i spend like 4 hours a day in the bathroom writing in my new diary and reading. i'm depressed and angry once friday comes, i hate the weekend because i've realized that my life is so ugly that i can't take a glance at it without being disgusted with myself. i need school to move me around, i need books and my diary to keep me busy and i can't even use my keyboard without being coming stressed out, because the keyboard, this whole computer setup it has ruined my character, and i can't even tell anyone that i need help in sewing it back together. i've become so obsessed with perfection that i can't even believe it's me.. i've used to not care about crap at all but something happened in the past week. and yesterday it was the first time in like 4 months that i wanted to die, actually it has been more than 4 months more like maybe 6. i kept writing in my diary "kill me now kill me now.." do i need help? probably. bye now
xkrissy
current mood: clean
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| Thursday, October 31st, 2002
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4:33 pm - stopittt
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it really doesn't feel like halloween, except the kids running around in crappy ass outfits. the only good outfit at our school was trevor's. he was michael jackson lmao. he was dancing in the cafeteria and jumping on the tables grabing his crouch and he was spining haha, sometimes we have the greatest kids at my school thinking of the greatest things, very rare though. and as usual when halloween comes, when we [gaby, darlene, alicia, alisha and me] to our first recess chip break in the girl's bathroom every single 3 foot tall brown hair girl was in there getting in their halloween costume so it was not a peaceful time at all. gr. i asked josh if he was going to fremont at lunch and he said he didn't know, i'm kinda scared cause he moves a lot and he does live kinda far away from fremont. . . -sigh- i doubt i'd even see him though at fremont when i do go though.. just it would be nice to know that hes there and can have the possibility of being in one of my 6 or 7 classes...
after school grandma and i went to petsmart to get leo his flea crap their computers werent working so we walked around and looked at the hamsters, mice, rats, and guniea pigs their guniea pigs weren't that cute but the black bear hamsters were though. i kinda want one but i really don't cause hamsters aren't really friendly, but those things were so cute though. then we went to riteaid cause i was thinking about making my face all gothic-like tonight when i hand out candy with mom but they didn't have any makeup so i gave up on that idea but i got a new binder, a mini notebook and 3 sharpie marker things. i'm using the mini notebook as another journal.. haah once again it'll probably just be lying in the corner forever and a month then i'll rip out the page and start again and the pattern will repeat.. but i kinda feel good about it and i hope i don't do that cause i actually put my new school picture in there for decoration haha. im thinking of eating just one racecar candy.. yanno to test try it heh... erm. .yep. kay thats all now.
xkrissy
ps. josh says hes gonna be me for halloween and scare the kids cause im funny looking.. okie.
current mood: unsure
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| Wednesday, October 30th, 2002
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8:47 pm - joshjoshjoshjosh 49832
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i dont feel like talking about my day haha.. except i finished go ask alice and now im on like page 40 of multiple choice.. it's okay kinda makes me want to scramble words and stuff again like i used to do in 2nd/3rd grade heh. but im gonna talk about j o s h HAHA ilovehim
today when we got ready to go home i put up my chair and jeremy's chair accidently fell on josh's leg hahahahah and he was all faking that it hurt and then he walked by again and tabitha told me to push the chair and it landed on his leg again =x and that time it hurt him he was all standing against the wall going "ahh" and he was all "stopppppp" and he called me a bitch lmao fklhsfk i don't care if he meant it in a bad way or good i died. haha. and he said "stopp doing it on purpose karissaaa" tomarrow im gonna ask if hes going to fremont, oh god please let him goto fremont i'll kill myself if he doesn't I NEED HIM but it's really weird.. he does like everything the same way i do. he sits the same way, he goes to bed at 9 just because, just my god sometimes i get annoyed cause i dont wanna seem like im copying him o,o man i'm counting down the days until i cant sit next to him anymore lmao and it's 31 days left ;[ unless we get back at the same table again ahh please. i want him ;[
current mood: dreamy
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| Tuesday, October 29th, 2002
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6:47 pm - BADDA BADDA bang boo.
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today was fine, josh came backkk ahh i had to like watch myself in front of him, and i could barely talk at all around him, i'm consious [sp] about myself not looking dumb. we watched more of the kiddy ben affleck mayan movie ;d hah it was so cute because josh was asking me for my notes because he said "i was just soooo into the movie" and smirked at me AHhhHHh i love him to death, he showed me his id card with his picture and he looked so cute and he told me he was wearing a blue and white shirt.. for some reason heh i gave him the thumbs up and he laughed and nodded. godgodgodogododododo i LOVE HIMMMM well maybe not but i adore him plus muchomuchomucho.
the lunch lady was so nice today, she was checking off names and i guess she got disorganized or something and she asked my name which was pretty odd to me cause she knows my name and i said karissa and she was all "oh wow your just getting so pretty can't even know your name" o,o lol i was blushing and stuff i don't think anybody that's almost a total stranger ever complimented me like that before.
me and grandma went walking to day... um yep. i still need to do my homework AND ALSO which is so very important to tell you all i think i got a yeast infection ahah i'm dumb. i dunno i'm gonna check out websites about it tonight to see i hope i don't gotta goto to some dumb doctor about it eh.. well um yes that was very nice to bring up .. okay well homework time now byebye.
xkrissy
current mood:  cold
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| Monday, October 28th, 2002
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8:07 pm - i wonder why she wont burn
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um school was fine, we didn't learn crap though we watched ice skating and some old show about the maya indians from mexico with ben affleck in it when he was like 12 or something haha. gaby and darlene invited me to go to fremont after school and hang out, i asked my mom and she said no fucking whore i can't do shit at all, i can't even go down the street. and then she and dad start fighting and junk ugh.. i would rather die than live here.
we went to sports chalet and got a swimsuit i look gross in it though. then we walked to the libary and they didn't have not one single francesca lia block book o,o and in oxnard they have like 4 but most of them are unavailble so we'd have to go all the way to camarillo to get a book from her, so screw that. they didn't have the blue lawn or harley like a person either BLAH so i got the mulitple choice book and i also got go ask alice.. i heard that's a really good book and i started reading it tonight and a lot of the parts i really relate to the girl.
i did my homework.. and that's it ?
xkrissy
ps. i don't really feel like typing eh.
current mood: depressed + busy
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6:39 am - BLAJJHJJHHJH
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i look like shit on this monday morning.. my body is not ready for this waking up early yet >,< my eyes have purple bags ahHH and for some reason my forehead looks quite large today. im gonna dieeee.. i need to go brush my teeth and puts my shoesies on but that can be done later cause i dont gotta be at school till' 7:30 o0o the freedom that i got harharr. the dog is annoying.. why don't she go sit on the couch like normal dogs? BUT NO shes so damn fat she sits in the kitchen all day waiting for food right under my chair >,< but still even though she is the fattest doggie of all the west, i still love her <333 okay well thats all now ;d
xkrissy
current mood: cold
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| Sunday, October 27th, 2002
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6:59 pm - looking for the time to try
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well.. just for grandma i finished my titanic story mrs. salka better fucking ask for it or i'll be mad at her and shove the story down her throat and make her die. gosh i need therepy or something.. k i take that back erm. at 9 pm im gonna take a cold pill where it makes you drowsy so i can goto sleeep for school, no more staying up till' 11:30 pm it's only well.. between 9 and 10 whenver i get everything done. i want to wake up early and take a shower andand get dressed then maybe have time to go online, but i'll probably be late for school then BUTOHWELL i wish i could wear makeup to school, it's like an addiction i need makeup on in order to go outside and communicate, it's bull shit how we cant wear makeup cause it "interfers with learning" um.. okay. oh well i'll look like shit at school and right when i get home i'll apply the prettypretty makeup ;D
tommarrow is gonna be kinda busy though, you see first i'll goto school doopitydoopity doo then after that we'll drop off carmen, go to sports chalet [sp] and look for a bathing suit, hopefully they'll have one in my size, then we'll goto grandma's house and walk to the libary and i'll get the books tara suggested + more. then go back and do the homework i got, or just watch tv OR be smart and read a book =o then that'll be it, whatever happens, happens. seesee i don't even need to make an entry for tommarrow cause i have explained it all to you lovely people.. no that's a lie something bad will happen i know it. something always does.. i'll get made fun of at school probably, yep. no i won't find a bathing suit, k i know that's gonna happen. yepp.. oh i forgot to say after we get done with sport chalet we're going to kmart on the way to grandma's house so she can get halloween candy yippee my house needs to get some of that shizit. i'm gonna be uncle krissy for halloween [don't ask if you dont know ;d]
WELL I FEEL KINDA BORED .. so i'm gonna show you my masterpiece of work aka my titanic story =o read it and tell me how it is, i had limited space to do it only the maximum of 2 pages [1 side = 1 page] so yep.
( read )
current mood:  busy
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12:48 am
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how old is bearybipolar ? =x=x=x=x=x=x=x=x=x= =CXim mean. im sorry i bet he'll kick my ass now oh no. ;[
current mood:  curious
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| Saturday, October 26th, 2002
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8:20 pm
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i want the nirvana cd ;[ [[ [ [[ [ [ now
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7:00 pm - wEe bored.
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APPEARANCE
hair - short
eyes - blue
height - 5'2
STYLE
clothing - whatever looks nice
make up - lipgloss, eye shadow, eyeliner, mascara
body art - just my cartiledge piercing im gonna ask to get another one soon
RIGHT NOW
wearing - pajama pants, volcom pants
thinking of - why do i have to eat?
LAST THING YOU...
bought - forgot
ate & drank - nothing i haven't ate today
read - tv guide
watched on tv - um.. nirvana unplugged
EITHER / OR
club or houseparty - neither
tea or coffee - coffee
cats or dogs - both
single or taken - uhh.. dunno
food or candy - food
coke or pepsi - coke
hard or mild alcohol - neither
WHO DO YOU WANT TO...
kill - mean people
hear from - no one
be like - someone who i wish i was
avoid - darlene
LAST PERSON YOU...
touched - mom
talked to - mom
hugged - . i duno
kissed - no one
WHERE DO YOU...
eat - anywhere
dance - no where
cry - in bed
HAVE YOU EVER...
Dated one of your best friends - yeah
Loved somebody so much it makes you cry - probably not
Done drugs - never
Broken the law - not really
Ran away from home - nope
Broken a bone - no
Cheated on a test - yeah
Mooned Someone - yeah ;d
Kissed someone you didn't know - no
Been in a fight - yeah
Been on a plane - yeah
Cheated on your Boy/Girlfriend - no
Swam in the ocean - yeah
WHAT IS...
The most embarrassing CD in your collection - britney spears, bsb
Your bedroom like - dirty
Your favorite thing for breakfast - cereal
Your favorite thing for lunch - peanut butter and jelly
Your favorite thing for dinner - clam chowder or chicken
Your favorite Restaurant - um.. sizzlers?
ARE YOU...
A Vegetarian?: no :\
A Good Student?: i guess
Good At Sports?: no
A Good Singer?: no
A good Actor/Actress?: dunno
Shy?: sometimes
current mood: bored + dirty
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5:46 pm - looking for a complication
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eh today sucked, woked up reallyreally late, went and watch nirvana unplugged and once again realized how beautiful kurt is. so yeah once all these foo fighter downloads are done nirvana downloads will be rolling right in. wee. i've gotten a lot done, yet got nothing done today. yet i have got things done concerning my online zine, sideraphobia it's just a dumb journal zine with the occassional poem. yeah but anyway, nothing has been done i feel very much dirty and ugly eh .. why can't i feel good about myself before going back to school? WHY CAN'T DAD CLEAN butno he is sick. i'm gonna go check out some other stuff on here and take another shower, the only place i feel really safe in the shower i feel so dirty out of it.. it's not healthy, i just wish i could have automobile shower so my outfit would be a showercurtain.. but that'd just be creepy and i'd probably only live up to being like 21 years old cause of the diseases out there you can catch from baring your bum.
today when i was sleeping i had the weirdest dream on earth, actually for the last couple of weeks i've been having freaky dreams i'm not sure what's causing it. it's just strangeness, but today's dream was just sad. .. maybe i had it because of the discussion of having kids last night with simon. .. i don't know.. anyways.. if your interested in the what the dream was .. click below dur.
k i'm not sure who the father was but anyway i had a baby, and she was so small i mean like really small, and i took her places and stuff and i had this little pouch i'd put her in, i mean this baby was like the size of a barbie baby. anyway.. i'm not sure of the details before the last thing that happened but anyway, i came home with some person/guy and we took the baby a bath and i got in the bathtub with my clothes on for some reason annd something poked me in the knee and finger and i was bleeding, well i couldn't find the baby so i got out and reached for the bottom of the bathtub and found a little knife thing they use to cut up cancer stuff in operating room and when we did find the baby she was all cut up and dead and i was crying in the dream.. there was things about a gangster doing the kill.. but i dunno it was just very strange i don't know why i'd dream such a thing in my life.
xkrissy
current mood:  dirty
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1:34 am - all my life i've been searchin' for somethin'
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( survey )
current mood:  bored
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| Friday, October 25th, 2002
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6:18 pm
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buddy burger is the bomb o0o yeah.
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4:11 pm - black nails and brown socks ;d
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i wish i went to a private or catholic school, even though i'm not really hip with the catholic religion.. okay i'm not hip with religion in general. my parents did thought about sending me to santa clara [catholic scho0l down the street] o0o daddy's home ;d anyway as i was saying. they were thinking of sending me there before i started kindergarten but no0oo they sent me to another crappy private school where you don't wear uniforms and it's just for preschool and kindergarten gR. anyway, i wanna goto a school where you have to wear plaid skirts and ties and stuff i wouldn't be judged for what i wear and the clothes would be prettttyyy. butnoofcoursenot. i goto emilie ritchen elementary school where the kids should choke on a dick and die. ohgrand.
hotlildude88: hey do u get the message ,room is full, when u try to get into a room
carebears1811: .. it's full?
hotlildude88: i mean just most the chat rooms allways tell me they r full and i cant get in them
carebears1811: .. because your slow
hotlildude88: ??
carebears1811: you hear me.
hotlildude88: slow in what way
what a dumbass. eh he fucking pmed one day on yahoo when darlene was here flashing her bra.. go figure. now he never leaves me alone and it's so annoying. i just wish people would get the hint that i don't want talk to them, and yet i also wish people get understand my humor and not get so damn offended in saying "eat your ass" er.. whatever. i hate people.. not all people but like maybe 3 people and most of you people on my friendlist are the people who i dont hate. they're all dumb and stupid, lilly won't stop iming me either it's like she's always critising of what i'm wearing saying i dress like a goth or a freak, or i act dumb, or i'm always absent. and then my other ghetto dumbass friends are like "well like karissa you soo smart being in the honors club for like math can you like do my math homework like thanks!" and then they ask if i'm going to the summer school thing.. d u m b a s s it's for people get an f for anwsering what 9x9 is. CONGRADULATIONS YOU NOW HAVE THE READING LEVEL OF A 5 YEAR OLD :D i'm serious. this city has people in a 6th grade classroom who don't know how to spell the world "what" it's really sad. but maybe it's just because i'm a bitch and a whore, and is the devil as described by manymany people -,-
well i'm done ranting, i don't do that much nowadays in fear of looking like an asshole.. but okay. i got grandma mad today >,< i threw my new jacket on the ground and she got mad and started saying i don't care about the money people make and blahblahblah. i told her i was sorry ? i can't do much but pick the jacket up and she already did that .. so.. yeah... i'm just watching tv and making people mad today .. wEe suchfun. anyway i asked grandma if we can goto the libary next week and she said yes. so yeah PEOPLE SUGGEST SOME BOOKS and.. not hard boring books please heh. i wanna make more reports and be more smart and stuff.. so yeah.. my nails are black.. i'm not sure if i should touch them up before the first day back to school or just take it off.. i don't want to be called a goth again cause i'm gonna wear my new black pants and have black shoes, and black nailpolish. maybe i'll paint them white.. yeah that sounds good. they look good when they're white or atleast to me anyways.
hi to new friends -burp-
xkrissy
ps. remember to suggest some kickass books.
oh yeah it rained while i was sleeping and now it might start again YAY YAYAYYAYAYAyyayayaysydy
current mood:  thoughtful
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| Thursday, October 24th, 2002
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9:23 pm
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blahh i feel so guilty, mom went and got mcdonalds and then we got ready for the haunted house but when we got there didn't wanna go in cause i was too scared and she got kind of mad and i felt really guilty.. gosh.. right now she's getting gas for her car she's gonna ask cathy if she wants to go ;[
xkrissy
current mood:  guilty
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no0gies's journal